One of my friend’s ask me how I manage time between the hubs and my son. I have listed some tips that may help if you feel that you are not sure how to keep the love life alive with also keeping the baby alive!
Set a time that is just for you and your spouse.
– For Matt and I this is usually when Camden goes to bed. We usually put him down around 8 or 8:30 pm. We not only do this to keep him on a schedule but it is also “our time” to be together. Sometimes we wait and cook a special dinner for just the two of us after he goes down. During this time we share what happened in our day and just really talk to each other. I love being a mommy but I also love being a wife. We tend to forget our husbands because they can “take care” of themselves. It is easy to forget to spend time for each other but it is very important.
Date nights!!
– You know how you use to get ready for your spouse? Usually when we are welcomed into motherhood we tend to go towards the yoga pants and spit up towel look. It is easy to forget to take care of yourself must less dress up. I recommend having a date night even if it is only once a month. This gives you time as a couple to just hang out together. I know that some of you may not have family near and that is hard. When we lived in North Carolina we had the same problem but we decided to use whatever connections we had around us. This maybe asking someone you go to church with, a neighbor, a friend..someone you trust! I know it is hard to leave little ones, you feel guilty but remember your spouse needs your time just as much! Even if it is only to go to dinner for an hour it is nice to get a way and reconnect! I read once in a book ” Date nights are way cheaper than divorces..” If you are tight on a budget, save some money aside to go on a date night even if it is a cheap one! It doesn’t really matter where you go as long as you are together. (haha I know that’s sounds pretty corny but it is true!!)
Do something your spouse likes to do!
– A few weeks ago Matt took me shooting. He had wanted to take me shooting for a while but I wasn’t really about it. When we finally went , we had fun and he enjoyed “teaching” me something. It does go both ways, sometimes I have Matt tag along to go see a “love story” movie. He doesn’t really want to but he does it and we have fun! I also watch sports with Matt. I didn’t grow up watching sports and even now I probably could go without them but I have learned that he really enjoys when I sit down with him WITHOUT complaining about the game. Again, he also watches “The Real Housewives” with me so it goes hand in hand.
Take time to listen to your spouse!
As women we sometimes are better at talking than listening. Take time to just “listen” to what your husband has to say. I have learned that the more that I take time to listen without saying anything the more that he will open up to me. I have found this true about hearing his “war stories”. When he shares with me I have to able to listen without judging him.
Love your spouse even at their worst. Matt and I have had our share of bad times. Marriage is never perfect .The one thing that I have learn is no matter what to continue to love them. I can not control what my husband does but I can control my actions towards him. This is no means to let someone run over you, if you are in an abusive situation than you should reach out for help.
I encourage you to just “love” your spouse no matter what you are going through right now. Love can be an amazing tool!
xoxo
Cortney
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